RANT! RANT! RANT!

Two weeks and some days in the hospital, in and out like I fucking live there and a person who just fucking ruined something, somehow great by being the type of person who I was AFRAID WILL BECOME IN THE BEGINNING. Sickeningly-unfortunately-predictably TRUE.





Thats it. It took me just that to go out of my fucking mind. How I wish I can rip apart my chest to show him how much this is hurting. To say is so impossible that it gave me a point blank. BLANKNESS to the point I can just stare into an empty space with just uncalled for and unappreciated tears. Womens weakness. At least its there to see.





UNAPPRECIATED. That's a word that kept knocking me out continously. A word that always catch me by surprise. Hey, check this; I did not know being appreciative comes within racial territory. Perhaps age-wise? So being younger gives you the right to be so ignorance? So stupid? Pardon my sarcastic remark. I'M JUST FUCKING SORRY, BUT BEING UNAPPRECIATIVE AND BEING SO MOTHER FUCKING OBLIVIOUS OVER- AND OVER. AIN'T THAT A LITTLE TOO SADISTIC?? NO- SERIOUSLY. It's just that, witnessing my fucking miserable past with that idiot, I THOUGHT you'd be coming to my mercy with something better to offer. But guess what? You picked me up and threw me back on the ground. HOW ABOUT THAT? Hm..





YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BE MAN ENOUGH BEFORE YOU STARTED THIS SHIT! YOU. SHOULDN'T. HAVE. STARTED. THIS. SHIT.


-- It takes two, I know, but I blame you.





Ahem- On a lighter note, I hope Spain won EURO '08. 25 years, show me some miracle baby.





In her,





Naddy.

Guess who's back? ;P

Boy, I was gone for quite a long time huh? I just realized that I never really keep up with anything I started. I know, shame on me. But then again I realized that I only start bitching on blogs when life got a little messed up. But when everything is smooth sailing, I tend to abandon the ship. Does make sense to you? Well, I don't care.

So, as the pattern goes, life is a little fucked sideways right now. I can't really get into details coz it'll be one hell of a read and I don't think you people would want to precious time doing so. First off, I'm not taking this semester of college simple because there's too much shit going on in my life right now that it's best if I just chill out. Yes, I am bumming around doing absolutely nothing on a daily basis; watching E! and movies on HBO. And then theres the occasional night life. There's nothing new to that. Second off, I FINALLY put the whole on and off relationship for almost half a year to rest. For good. Finito. Khalas. Tamam. The process was bitter but in the end, who can actually imagine us being together any longer? Even I can't. All I'm saying, if you are truly your fathers son, it's hard to change. Not trying to point out to anything particular, so that chapter is close. But hey, I tried to be a decent person about it after the whole break up shit but if it's returned unappreciated, fuck off. Is it true I was going for the friend? Well, no... Sort of... It's not as bad as it sounds. The feeling was mutual. Which bring us the third chapter, the new guy. LOL, I can seriously write a book. THINGS ARE NOT EASY AS IT LOOK. I'm not trying to say all Persians are the same, but Goddamn, the boy sucks at proving me wrong. I refused to look at it that way but not when my face is shoved to its direction.

In a state of confusion? Hell yes. But if theres one thing I learned from all this is that patient is not a virtue when its sucking the living life out of you. The feeling unappreciated just brought the whole dejavu feeling which got me thinking; this is going the same fucking road. Love or being inlove is not enough.

I am selfish, and I demand more. It's not that you can't give, you choose not to. Like hell I will stand back with my arms crossed waiting for you. Nothing in this world is important? That's truly immature. Love is not important? Look in the mirror, you are the outcome of love. MAKE UP YOUR GOD FORSAKEN MIND.

Enough said for tonight. Or morning. It's 5:15am and I should really get to bed. If it means any difference in your life or what so ever, I will update frequently.

Cheers.

In her, Naddy.

Oh! I got new pics. They are very vain but then again, I didn't ask you. :D